Wouldn’t it be fun to review your own bachelor party? Maybe give some future groom or best man who is frantically searching the Interwebs looking for stripper-free ideas for a bachelor party a couple pointers? What if I were to look at my bachelor party as an experience to be reviewed much like a movie critic examines and reflects upon a film after seeing it? Seems like a fun way to approach reminiscing on a pretty important and significant right of passage many Western males go through.
For the first half of my bachelor party, I went paintballing with a few of my close friends (we later went to dinner, among other things ;-). The decision to play paintball was a combination of me thinking, “man, I really don’t want strippers to be a part of my day,” and the remarkably fresh memories of playing paintball as a 14-15 year old boy in the woods behind my house. I think an adrenaline rush that strong forces memories into the long-term chunk of your brain.
Attending was my best man, Nate, along with my friends Brian, Alex, and Mikey. Looking back, I wish I’d invited more of my friends as this is the sort of game that would be amazing to play against people you know. The paintball park we were at would provide a field and a dedicated referee to moderate your games if we’d had enough people…be sure to call yours and ask.
Yeah, it kinda-sorta hurts to get hit with a paintball, but often you’re adrenaline on high and your blood is pumping so fast and you’re so excited that you don’t really notice it (if you’re wearing layers, see below). It’s kind of like getting snapped with a rubber band.
Here are some pointers and things I learned:
- Wear LAYERS! This doesn’t just mean a pair of jeans below the waist and a t-shirt with a sweatshirt above the waist, this means sweatpants with jeans over them, and at least three layers up top. The welts you won’t get will make it worth it!
- Paintball works up an appetite. A big, manly, meat-eating appetite. So, pack food and lots of water (no booze, you need to be on your A-game out on the fields).
- Brush up on your crouching and creeping techniques. Everyone who attended was pretty sore the day after from constantly being in a crouched position. Avoid this by being more in shape than we were.
- Bring rags or hand towels to wipe yourself off with. When you get shot with a paintball, it’s messy, especially if you get hit on your face mask. Bring a rag to wipe your mask, your clothes, and your marker off after each game.
- Energy drinks/foods would help you play all day. We only made it from about 9:30am to 2:00pm, where the park was actually open until 4pm. I think if we’d had energy drinks and food to munch on, we might have made it longer.
Don’t take these pointers as regrets: I’m going to be remembering those games for a good, long time. Take them as simple advice from one bachelor to another. Well, if you’re reading this after May 2010, as one former bachelor to another. Cheers folks!